Teh Fail is the quotient and the product, the prime and the factor, the pi and the i.

Setting Themselves on Fire

Omfg the new Stars album (The Five Ghosts) is quite possibly the worst thing I’ve heard all year.

Not only does it sound like someone stuck the master into a puddle of mud, they’re terrible songs to begin with. What an overwrought, hyperbolic, teenage wreck of a release; it’s as though all those life-affirming ‘anthems’ were written from the scraps of an 18-year old girl’s diary.

And with track titles like “I Died So I Can Haunt You” and “The Last Song Ever Written”, the cheese factor isn’t just palpable— it’s downright vulgar.

The only good thing about this record is how the ridiculously murky mix drowns out the dude’s annoying, reed-thin whine of a voice. (And this coming from a Pumpkins fan.)